Blog-A-Licious Directory Special Feature - David M Brown

Fezariu’s Epiphany by David M. Brown

“The story revolves around the main character, Fezariu, who suffers a betrayal as a young boy that leads him to turn his back on his family. He joins the Merelax Mercenaries, convinced that their way of life will offer him a way to avoid any ties and leave his past firmly behind. In his quest to prove himself, he is forced to forge new alliances in order to survive the dangerous assignments in the colonies but works hard to distance himself emotionally. Despite his determined focus to move on his thoughts are constantly drawn back to Clarendon where the White Oak, an infamous brothel, holds the secret to his past and the childhood friend he abandoned still remains.”

Reader review: “You must read this book. Once you open the cover you will lose yourself and forget about the real world. 5/5.”

Available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Smashwords
The Elencheran Chronicles http://blog.elenchera.com
Author David M. Brown http://www.authordavidmbrown.co.uk
Hot Spot http://twitter.com/#!/elenchera

Want to be featured like this? Join the Blog-A-Licious Directory 2012 (Chocolate Dream listing) and stand a chance to win a Kindle.

Take a peep at the other listings, HERE

Read More

The Sticks and Stones of Parent-Child Self-Help

By Paula Renaye

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

We learned that sing-song saying when we were young—and it is good advice—but is it really true?

I've written a lot of words about how the opinions of others are none of our business and the only approval we need is from ourselves. It's certainly true, and knowing and being at peace with our authentic selves is the foundation of The Hardline Self Help Handbook. But what if the criticism comes from those closest to us, such as a parent? How do we deal with that?

Well, with parents and children, the same old patterns and unhappy scripts have been playing for a long time with the same people saying the same kinds of hurtful things, right on cue. So, how do we change it?

Well, it's pretty simple—someone has to stop doing what they’ve always done. And the first step is to own your starring role in the bad movie. You have to accept that you've chosen—repeatedly—to be around people and participate in situations that have a history of causing you pain.

I can hear you now, "Are you saying it's my fault that my mother criticizes me and makes me feel horrible?" In a word, yes. It is your fault that your mother still criticizes you and you still let it affect you.

If every time you're around your mother she says things that make you feel bad about yourself—and you choose to continue to do the same things—then yes, you are willingly choosing to be criticized.

"Well," you say, "she's my mother and I have to—"
No, you don't. You could grow a spine and respectfully tell her she's not allowed to talk to you in that manner anymore and that you're only going to speak about positive and uplifting topics with her. Or, you can choose not to be around her.

You have to set the terms of what you'll tolerate and stick to them. If she doesn't like your new terms of endearment because she can't play her "here's why you're awful" tape, then she won't want you around anyway.

Harsh? Not really, more like realistic. There is a third option, however, and it has some pretty impressive benefits: You have to no longer need her approval—you no longer need anything from her.

Because really, the only reason any criticism from any source hurts is because there is a part of you that believes it's true. Once you are truly okay with yourself—once you've owned your warts and are doing your best to be your best—it no longer matters what someone else says.

So, if being criticized by a parent still hurts, you have to ask yourself why. Here are a few of questions that may help give you some insights:

What is the one thing you most want your mother or father to say to you that they never have?
What wrongs do you need them to admit to?
What words of approval do you long to hear?



Now, after you've answered those questions, go back and ask "why" for each to get to an even deeper level of self-understanding.

Yes, words can be very powerful. They don't hit us like sticks or rocks, but they can hurt even worse if they connect with old wounds that need to be healed. So, yes, the sing-song rhyme is true—but only if you've done the inner work to make it so.

Back to Mom, when you no longer need her approval, when you can smile at her criticisms, hug her and tell her you love her anyway no matter what she thinks, that's when you'll know you're over it. Because then, you'll have realized that her criticisms have nothing at all to do with you and neither does her withholding of anything—her behaviors are about her fears and limiting beliefs.

And once you've made that shift in your head, you can't look at her in the same way ever again because you no longer need anything from her—you don't need her approval because you have your own. She's no longer withholding something that seemed vital to your life because you have everything you need within.

Who knows, once you've changed the rules of the game, it might even inspire her to make some positive changes as well. It doesn't matter, though, what she does is up to her, and what you do is up to you.

So, yes, sticks and stones can break bones, and words can hurt, but only if you let them. And the great news is that you don't have to let them!

Paula Renaye is a life transformation speaker, coach, regression hypnosis practitioner and author of the multi-award-winning The Hardline Self Help Handbook. Paula holds a degree in Financial Planning and membership in the International Association of Coaches. Special offers and contest giveaways at http://hardlineselfhelp.com.

Read More

Blog-A-Licious Blog Tour 12

Join Me!
Blog-A-Licious Blog Tour

Come join us on a fantastic blog hop that brings together bloggers of all genres, backgrounds and locations.

Tour Date - Saturday, 19 November

Theme - One Thing You'd Change, In Yourself


1. Debbie - http://scatteredmusings.net/
2. Dora - http://peacefrompieces.blogspot.com/

...
20. Dora - http://blogaliciousblogs.blogspot.com/

Facebook "Like" Fest 
If you have a Facebook page that could use some love, leave me a comment to add it here. If you're not taking part in the Blog Tour, that's grand BUT you must like the other pages involved. Pages that promote kiddie porn and online pharmacies will not be accepted. Maximum 20 pages per week. For all other info, scroll down. 

1. Dora - https://www.facebook.com/peacefrompieces  
...

20.

Want to join in the fun? Here's what you need to do for the Blog Tour...

1. Leave your blog link at the bottom of this post.

2. Write an article or post a photo relevant to the theme on YOUR blog. If your post is not up by Saturday 12.00 noon (GMT), your link will be removed from this list. 
2. Introduce the blog before you and the blog after you.
3. Visit as many of the listed blogs and Facebook pages as you can, if not in one day you can do a few a day? Make a comment, follow, like or join.
4. If you are having a giveaway or a competition this would be the time to showcase your hot stuff. This is not compulsory, it is up to you.
5. This is open to all bloggers, writers, authors, publishers. All we ask is that you have a blog, be able to post as per the weekly theme, have a comment system that works and have F-U-N.
6. The tour and  'Like' fest are limited to 20 bloggers for each section.  

7. BUT, we will be doing it every two weeks. Next blog tour is on 5 November, to sign up click HERE.

Fun tips to make it work

1. Tweet it (#BlogALicious), Stumble it and share it any way you can. Tweet me @PandoraPoikilos

2. Not all of us are on the same time zone so try to have your post up by Friday night your time. This way it'll be ready for when people come to visit you.

3. Giveaways and competitions are not compulsory, it is up to you.

4. Even if you can't visit all the blogs in one day, spread it over the weekend or even the week.

5. If there is anything you need, email me - pandorapoikilos@gmail.com

Read More

The Queen Stole My Peas

Our 3 Most False Convictions
By Pandora Poikilos

Some months ago, when Peas got back from work I was brimming with updates about what had happened in my day. I asked him how his day was, got the usual "fine" and then jabbered on about everything that happened in my day. Even when he went to another room, I sat jabbering away and eventually when I got no response I asked him what he was doing and was greeted with a muffled but firm "I'm banging the queen". Of course, I was gobsmacked. How could the queen, wherever she was (despite all her finery,) have the attention of my beloved Peas? What followed was not so much an argument but a revelation for both parties.

I work from home. Thanks to a shunt in my head, I find going out torture and only do it when absolutely necessary. He goes out for work and on weekends spends time with the guys and his bike (his second love). I had been convinced that once he was home, he would understand my excitement at seeing him and would look forward to hearing about my day as much as I would look forward to hearing about his. He was convinced that once he was home, I would understand his need for personal space without telling me that he needed it.

So that is the first conviction we all get so wrong, people will tell us what they need. Some of us lack the courage to speak and others lack the bravery to listen. How nice if we can all move on in life without the awkwardness of understanding each other's needs. As long as there are no complaints, it must all be good or so we tell ourselves. But you see that is where it can go horribly wrong. These are the little things that will simmer and boil till one day it will just boil over and when it does you'll wonder where all these issues were actually hidden in the first place.

Which brings me to our second false conviction, people are mind readers. How many times we tell ourselves, why did she do that when should know that I don't like it? But are you absolutely sure, the person even knows? If something bothers you that much, then open your mouth and speak up. Better to be heard and known than one day to find out you could have stopped an atrocity but lacked the tenacity to speak up.

This brings me to my last and most common false conviction, somehow a lot of people seemed to have convinced themselves that relationships do not need work. They would be more willing to spend the rest of their lives with the incredulous threads of conviction to the likes of "the queen stole my peas" than to dig a little deeper and find out what the actual problem was. From my experience I can tell you that relationships will survive anything and everything when will and heart come together. You name it - misunderstandings, bad times, good times, distance, fire, storms and anything life can offer save for one thing, and that is neglect.

The minute you think a relationship does not need your time, attention or voice then you can be as sure as the summer sun that is the beginning of the ending. Yes, sometimes we all need to move on and move out of a relationship. But only after you have done everything you possibly know and can to hold it together. Peas and I have our "childish" pacts like - hugs and kisses are absolutely allowed even if we have disagreed about something, if one of us screws up then we must tell the other about it even if not immediately and my personal favourite, no matter how bad a day we've had we must describe our day to the other person in more than 10 words. No "fine", "good" or "it was okay". We'll probably have a few more along the way, I don't know but I know that if we can make it through brain surgery then everything else shouldn't be rocket science.

So the next time you think your relationship has failed or is failing because someone has stolen the attention of your loved one, think again. The answers and convictions (or the lack of it) might be staring you in the face and you don't have to go on with life thinking how was it ever possible for "the queen to steal your peas".

Read More

Learning Patience With God

By Jerry L. Haynes

My mother was dying of leukemia. My two older sisters, father, and I had shared the last three weeks in the hospital room with her. In two years, she had gone from a strong matriarch to a helpless invalid.

For the last three days, she had been in a semi-conscious state of moaning and lifelessness. She could no longer speak through her dry, swollen lips. Her eyes had the blank void of a moonless midnight.

On the night of the third day, I knew what I must do. I must cease being the selfish, clinging son. I sped purposefully to the chapel. There I gave God permission to take my mother. I could no longer stand to see her suffer, so I prayed for the permanent healing that only death can bring.

I returned to the room with a peaceful heart for I knew by the next morning my mother would also be at peace. I had the best night's sleep in weeks. The next morning, as the sun broke through the window, I awoke. My first thoughts were, "It's over". But then a noise, a stirring directed my attention from the window to the bed. A small movement made me realize that my mother was still alive. It was all I could do to keep from screaming aloud, "God, how can You do this to me? I became a selfless son, and gave You permission to end this, and You still kept her in her misery." But before I could have exclaimed this, I was shocked to see that there was more than just a movement.

My mother rolled onto her side, and looked into the glare of the newly risen sun. Then, as the sun made sparkling starbursts in her eyes, she licked her parched lips, and said "Gee, it's going to be a beautiful day today". Needless to say this got our attention quickly. Being the youngest, and fastest, I was first to her bedside. "Mom, it's me, Jerry, do you recognize me"? "Of course I do Jerry", she replied.

We all took our turns talking to her. Other relatives came and were able to talk to her, as she answered not in her old voice, but rather in the voice of a child. The doctor's explanation was that the brain stem was being destroyed, accounting for the sudden change. It was a joyous day of laughing, and celebrating life with our family. That night we all went to sleep peacefully.

The next morning, we were awaken to the stirring of angel's wings, and my mother was finally healed of her suffering. She had awakened to the Risen Son.

The next few days were hectic with funeral plans. It was only after the funeral that I stopped to think of what had happened. If God had answered my prayer, in my time, in my way, my final memories of my mother would have been that of a helpless invalid, with void eyes, lying motionless in a deathbed. Instead, God answered my prayer in his time, in his omniscient way.

Now, my memories of my mother are of a day of laughing and rejoicing. Since that time I have had many rocky roads. Financial failure. A divorce. The loss of my father. But throughout it all, regardless of how stormy the night might be, I know that through God's love, and perfect timing, I can awaken the next morning to a newly risen sun, or to the Risen Son, and say "Gee, it's going to be a beautiful day today."

Read More