Eagles and Turkeys

By Paula Renaye
Author of the Hardline Self Help Handbook

Not long ago, I was having lunch with a man who owns a small consulting company. He was complaining about how he just couldn't get ahead because everyone everywhere kept causing him problems. He quoted the saying that it was hard to soar like an eagle when you were surrounded by turkeys. It was a highly revealing moment, although he didn't realize it.

I knew he wanted sympathy and commiseration for being so wrongfully victimized by everyone, instead I gently suggested that whether you were a turkey or an eagle was simply a matter of viewpoint, that we were all somebody's turkey.

That went over just about as well as you'd figure it would. So, to push his perceptions even further, I asked why he thought he'd attracted so many people who were intent on keeping him down?

His face got really red as he searched for a way to make the situation about anything besides his own doing—in his mind he was the faultless eagle that would soar "if only" the turkeys would stop doing stupid things. Ultimately, he just said nothing because he couldn't—even an arrogant blustering bully knows when his hand has been called.

It actually hit him pretty hard and I felt his pain. I knew I had trod on sacred—and very fragile—ground. And, I'd done it on purpose. After being around this man for years, I knew he only needed to shift his perception just a little to open so many wonderful doors in his life.

Sometimes, it seemed like he would, but then, he'd start to feel silly or ashamed. You could literally see the transformation take place as his subconscious fears and beliefs draped around him like a cold wet blanket. And instantly, he'd be right back to his old ways of bravado, bluster, and bullying. It was much easier to lay the blame for his lack of success on others rather than allow himself to acknowledge his own role in it. He instinctively knew that if he allowed himself to see one chink in the armor, it would be a house of cards and he'd have to deal with all of them. He'd have to uncover and heal old wounds, and he just couldn't—self-improvement and personal development are for sissies!

If you know someone like this, rest assured there is a little scared child under that hard—and often offensive—shell. That doesn't mean you indulge it or aren't dutifully aware of its sharp beak that would rip you to shreds in a heartbeat. But, it can mean that by understanding what's really going on, you don't get drawn into his game. You can respond and interact differently. He doesn't have to be your turkey!

Soar high and live your joy!