Monday, 27th August 2012
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Jokes for all Occasions by Martin P Kerrigan
Genre - Humor/Jokes and Riddles
Rating - PG-13
4.3 (6 reviews)
FREE until 27th August 2012
"I'd rather be a glow worm.
"A glow worm's never glum.
"it's hard to be down-hearted,
"When the sun shines out your bum."
Anonymous.
With these words of wisdom, the reader of Jokes for all Occasions begins an hilarious, odd, strange thinking journey through a unique collection of hundreds of jokes collected from many people and places and life experiences. Sort of how Douglas Adams looked at the universe.
Jokes can be used with affection, with mischief and with malice. The same few words in different circumstances can offer laughter or start a fight.
The jokes in Jokes for all Occasions are spread across a number of broad categories:
Miscellaneous (Who ARE these people?)
Men and Women and Other Aliens
Idiots
Clever (I use the term loosely.)
Blonde Jokes (Just a few variations on a theme)
Disturbing (Some people are just WEIRD!)
Truth in a Joke
Ironic - Like rain on your wedding day.
Huh? (This was originally named wtf? but I thought better of it.
Chuck Norris - The Greatest Human Being - Ever.
Longer Jokes
Basically clean. Rated at worst PG. These jokes will bring laughter to your lips and air to your lungs.
Air to your lungs is always a good thing.
As the wonderful Spike Milligan has inscribed on his gravestone:
"I told you I was sick!"
The Pale Watcher (The Case Files of Edgar Sullivan #2) by OJ Connell
Genre - Paranormal Mystery
Rating - PG-13
3.8 (6 reviews)
FREE until 31st August 2012
The veil that divides the worlds of the living and the dead-- a fixture which has largely shielded mankind from the supernatural throughout history-- has been known occasionally to diminish. Due to such fluctuations, human beings are sometimes accosted by phantoms and other curious sorts from the shadows...
He is near.
A letter from a prospective client brings paranormal investigator Edgar Sullivan face to face with a terror the likes of which he's never known.
The client, Henry Whitaker, seeks to cast out a troublesome resident spirit he has termed the "Pale Watcher." Each night, this frightening apparition manifests in his bedroom and watches him sleep till morning. Sullivan agrees to take on the case and travels to the Whitaker estate in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
The details of this haunting are not so simple as they seem however.
Upon his arrival in the midst of a January snowstorm, Sullivan is informed by the head servant, Louis, that Henry Whitaker has fallen mysteriously ill. With his client hospitalized and a blizzard raging outside, he begins his investigation.
The winters of the Upper Peninsula are infamously brutal. Trapped by the snow, Sullivan is forced to confront the horrors that dwell in the Whitaker estate. Throughout the course of his investigation he comes upon strange clues; Mr. Whitaker's journal, a demonic sigil, a room full of antique mirrors. Can Sullivan piece together these clues and come up with a way to stop the haunting, or will he and Louis be devoured by the malevolence of the Pale Watcher?
Klondike House - Memories of an Irish Country Childhood by John Dwyer
Genre - Biography
Rating - G
4.8 (11 reviews)
FREE until 30th August 2012
In Klondike House, John Dwyer recounts his memories of growing up
on the remote but beautiful Beara Peninsula in West Cork, Ireland. This
was Ireland of the 1970s and 80s before the arrival of the short-lived
economic riches of the Celtic Tiger.
Dwyer's vivid and colorful stories describe his hard but happy life as part of an isolated but close-knit community:
- Early school days spent in a building with no running water or electricity
- An encounter with a violent sheep that literally turned his world upside down
- The days spent cutting the turf and saving the hay by hand
- An Irish Christmas where nearly everything on the table was sourced from the farm
- His exciting family history that brought his relations to the Klondike Gold Rush in Canada
Complemented by a collection of evocative photographs, each chapter tells of a way of life that has now largely disappeared.
Sprinkled with a selection of fitting works by some of Ireland's
best-known poets such as Seamus Heaney and Patrick Kavanagh, this gem of
a book is a chronicle of the simple but happy life of an Irish farmer
boy
Lacuna: Demons of the Void (PG-13 Edition) by David Adams
Genre - Science Fiction
Rating - PG-13
3.8 (19 reviews)
FREE until 30th August 2012
"Never again attempt to develop this kind of technology."
It is with these words that an unknown alien attacker destroys the Earth cities of Tehran, Sydney and Beijing. Fifty million people die... and nothing is ever the same again.
Some call them Demons, some call them Aliens, but to Chinese Naval Captain Melissa Liao they are the enemy. She is given command of one of three great warships built to fight the "demons", the TFR Beijing.
Her task is simple. Find who attacked Earth and why... then stop them.
This edition of Demons of the Void has reduced nudity and sexual content, and a reduced level of swearing. For the original version, see here (amazon.com/dp/B006RZNR3Y).
Book one of the Lacuna series.
- Lacuna: Demons of the Void
- Lacuna: The Sands of Karathi (New Release!)
- Lacuna: The Spectre of Oblivion (Coming December, 2012!)
Don't miss these short stories set in the Lacuna universe:
- Magnet
- Imperfect
- Faith
Past Suspicion (Christian Romantic Suspense) by Therese Heckenkamp
Genre - Romantic Suspense
Rating - PG
4.4. (21 reviews)
FREE until 28th August 2012
“Don’t trust anyone...” So whispers Robin’s mother just moments before she dies.
As this intriguing story of suspense unfolds, seventeen-year-old Robin is forced from her California home to live in Wisconsin with an uncle she never knew existed. Here in her mother’s hometown, Robin meets two young men and, while unraveling the secrets of her mother’s past, becomes involved in a treacherous plot, not realizing the importance of untangling her own life if she is to find a direction for her future. Feelings of betrayal and resentment burn strong. Robin’s heart becomes torn as she tries to figure out where she belongs and whom she can trust. Amidst an atmosphere of mystery, amongst the activities of small-town life, and while exploring an abandoned mansion, Robin not only searches for a treasure map, but—more importantly—discovers the far-reaching consequences of making the right or wrong decision.
SYMBOLS, MEANING, AND THE SACRED QUEST by Andrew Cort
Genre - Spirituality and Religion
Rating - PG-13
4.7 (10 reviews)
FREE until 30th August 2012
Are you on a personal spiritual quest? Then this book is for you.
Would you like to discover the ‘How To’ lessons for Spiritual Awakening that lie hidden in the wonderful myths and legends of the Western Tradition? Then this book is for you.
Are you fed up with bigotry and violence? In a world where religious differences often trigger hatred and war, here is a book that celebrates the Beauty, Decency, Wisdom and Unity of all our traditions. If you're seeking a world of peace, love and friendship, then this book is for you.
And if you're looking for hours of pleasure and entertainment as you discover and rediscover the splendid spiritual stories from around the world, this book is for you!
The real purpose of these stories is not to supply a questionable historical narrative, or to teach smarmy moral rules that no one can follow, or to command its followers to believe a lot of fantastic claims that defy all scientific logic!
Their real purpose is to present a great Wisdom Teaching – through Allegory, Symbol and Metaphor – that teaches our soul the inner psychological and spiritual steps that must be taken to achieve spiritual awakening. For example, the entire story of the "Return to the Promised Land" is a symbolic explanation of the soul's return from inner material slavery (which the Hebrew Bible calls "Egypt") to spiritual freedom and enlightenment (symbolized as "Canaan"). The story might be called the Quest for the Holy Grail, Muhammad's Journey to the 7 Heavens, or a host of other names. The esoteric meaning is universal.
But the stories are written in a perplexing symbolic code that requires a Key. Otherwise, they appear to be little more than unverified historical claims, punctuated with improbable miracles, and teeming with violence, cruelty and hopeless demands for an inconsistent and unrealistic morality. Fortunately, a key still exists in our time. A key to understanding the symbolism of ancient Myth and Scripture can still be found in many of the writings of Plato and several other early philosophers.
You will find the ‘Key’ in "Symbols, Meaning, and the Sacred Quest". As a result, you will read the spell-binding ancient stories with new eyes, new ears, and a new heart!
THE DOOR IS OPEN by Andrew Cort
Genre - Spirituality and Religion
Rating - PG-13
4.7 (19 reviews)
FREE until 28th August 2012
What do the wonderful myths of ancient Greece, the beautiful stories in the Bible and Qur'an, and all the sacred stories from traditions around the world, have in common? They open our hearts to wonder, mystery, passion, and joy.
● "One particularly moving passage details his heart-wrenching conversation with an AIDS patient, whose overwhelming positivity can teach us all a lesson."
On the outside, these stories seem very different, confusing, conflicting, and often violent and divisive. But when read symbolically and internally, they are all telling the same story. They show us the path of spiritual awakening and enlightenment. Sometimes the story is called "Returning to the Promised Land". Sometimes it's called "Seeking the Holy Grail". Sometimes it's called "Persephone's Return to Olympus."
But whatever it's called, the inner meaning and purpose is always the same. The stories are all a call to awaken.
● "Transitions smoothly from Socrates to 'An Officer and a Gentleman' to the Prodigal Son."
● "Zoroastrianism, Plato, Moses, Carl Jung, and the Grecian Demeter and Persephone--they're all here!"
● "Seamlessly melds scripture, myth, history and philosophy for enlightenment without the characteristic preachiness."
The door is always open. The light is always ready to receive us. But we have to learn how to tread the path! Fortunately, that's what all the sacred stories are really about.
THE DOOR IS OPEN uncovers the 7 Universal Steps that are found within the symbols and allegories of all great mythology and scripture. Each chapter ends with a series of practical and enjoyable spiritual exercises and activities. You can do this work on your own, or together with a group. It could be a church or synagogue group, a book club, a classroom, or any group of friends who want to get together and expand their spiritual horizons.
Famous Bible Verses: "21 Most Misquoted Verses" by David Hagan
Genre - Christian Education
Rating - G
5.0 (6 reviews)
FREE until 29th August 2012
I sat in church listening to a charismatic preacher proclaiming the Word of God in an enthusiastic fashion. I was fascinated by the amount of Bible quotations he reeled off in his one-hour message! I was surprised by the fact that though I was a new believer - having been in Christ for just two years - I could complete some of the scriptures he quoted. However, as one year rolled into another I had to face the embarrassing fact that despite being able to finish off many bible verses, the following essential ingredients were missing:
1. I could not tell you where those scriptures were in the Bible.
2. Even if I could locate them using Strong’s Concordance, Bible, biblegateway.com or crosswalk-com, I was not aware of the context in which it was said, the actual storyline and how God intended the scripture to be used.
3. Finally I was forced to face a fact that I was far from being a Berean Christian, miles away from where God will desire for me to be and far from being “...a workman that need not to be ashamed, who correctly handles the Word of truth” (2 Timothy 2).
The truth was that if I didn’t understand the context of a particular scripture, someone could easily misquote it to me intentionally or unintentionally and I would believe whatever I was told.
This book will help you understand some of those famous bible verses!
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