Why is it easier for some of us to say, "Yeah, I suck," than to admit that we do something well?
Is it because we don't want to be thought of as a braggart, arrogant, self-absorbed, narcissistic or egotistical? Are we in some way afraid that we really aren't good, and that if we say we are that we'll somehow be exposed as a fraud? Are we afraid we'll be challenged on our belief--or that someone will come back later and say, "See, you weren't nearly as big a deal as you thought you were"?
The answers are as individual as we are, but the bottom line always boils down to a fear of some kind--fear of not being good enough, of being unlovable, of being abandoned, etc. And because the pain that comes with that fear is pretty awful, we find all kinds of creative ways to avoid it.
Since the fear is that saying, "I'm good" is asking for proof that you're not, you'll look to others for validation. Someone else will have to pronounce you "good" in order for it to have any "truth" to it--for you. The catch is that it only works for that moment, because nothing changed inside and you'll continue to need proof from others of your worthiness.
When we value ourselves, we don't allow others to set the measure of our worth--to give it or take it away. -- Paula Renaye
Now, I'm not suggesting that you become an arrogant blowhard. That's just a different way of covering the same insecurities--a loud and obnoxious way of keeping others from picking at your house of cards.
So, if you can't say, "Yes, I'm really good at that," in a matter-of-fact manner when it's appropriate, there are really only two reasons: you're either afraid of what will happen if you do, or you don't fully believe it yourself.
Take an honest inventory of what you're good at and own it!
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Paula Renaye is the author of The Hardline Self Help Handbook--What are you willing to do to get what you really want? For more inspirational and motivational articles, visit http://hardlineselfhelp.com
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