Limiting Beliefs. We've all got them, but most of the time we don't even realize it. We also don't realize how much they control us. But really, why would we? We've operated from those beliefs our whole lives--they're our version of normal.
A while back, a friend invited me to go for a hike on the "mountains" here in Hot Springs. It was a beautiful day and it seemed like a fun thing to do now that I am getting out in the world. A year ago, I'd managed to survive Peru at 12,000 feet without dying and I'd lived in the Rockies, so I figured a little "hill" in Arkansas at basically sea level would be no big deal.
Well, it was a good theory, but it was really wrong.
I've never been much of a hiker, although I did get coerced into a couple of backpack trips through the Rockies back when I was in my twenties--nearly died once there too. As a teenager, I ran track for a couple of years. I was fast out of the gate on sprints and won lots of ribbons, but I couldn't make it around the track one time even at a trot. Obviously, endurance has never been my thing, and spending sixteen-hours-a-day for the last year in front of my computer hasn't enhanced that ability. So, trying to keep up--even for a few minutes--with a long distance runner was not only dumb, it was suicidal.
During that near-death-experience, I recalled why I had never wanted to do such things in the first place. It seemed to me if I was going to expend that kind of energy--and risk having my heart explode--I ought to have something tangible to show for it, such as clean stalls in the barn, a nice stack of hay, a new rock retaining wall or the house painted. Work was my definition of exercise.
Well, several years ago a good friend of mine was on health kick and wanted to walk. I was not keen on the idea for the above-mentioned reasons, but I agreed, figuring a little fresh air couldn't hurt.
I had a good place to walk where I lived so she came to my house. When she arrived, I asked her if she'd mind helping me flip my mattress. She said sure, but asked if I wanted to do it before we went for the walk or after.
"Oh, better do it now," I said without hesitation. "Afterward we'll be tired and won't feel like doing anything."
As the words left my mouth, a light bulb went on in my head. I realized that I had just uncovered a serious limiting belief--one I'd had my whole life. I believed that exercise made me feel bad!
Wow! No wonder I never wanted to do anything that could be labeled "exercise." Why would I want to do something I believed was going to make me feel worse?
I don't know when or how I came up with that belief--and it doesn't matter. What matters is that I recognized the automatic programming for what it was and knew I could change the belief if I wanted to.
So, I laughed at myself and shared my insights with my friend. Then I reworded the belief and tried my response again. "Let's wait until we get back, because after our walk we'll feel great and have more energy than we know what to do with."
Very different way of viewing things! And, operating on that belief system would produce radically different choices and create different outcomes.
So, what are your limiting beliefs? What do you just automatically say as "fact" that may just be an opinion? What offhand comments do you make without really hearing or thinking about them?
Like my mattress flipping example, you may find your clues in common every day things. A lot of limiting beliefs can show up when you talk about food, eating, sleeping, work, etc. Start listening to what you say and you may be amazed at what you discover--and how simple it can be to make changes because of it.
When you find a limiting belief--and you will--just do what I did. Flip it around, right then and there, say the new empowering belief out loud and start making it work for you!
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Paula Renaye is The Tough Love BFF Coach, empowerment speaker and five-time award-winning author. Her new book, Living the Life You Love--The No-Nonsense Guide to Total Transformation will be in stores in September. Read more at http://paularenaye.com
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