Monday, 30 December 2013

Best Job In The World

Author Unknown

I've been a mom (mother) for over 15 years now, and along with gaining spider veins, 25 pounds, and a few dozen worry wrinkles, I've also gained knowledge.

For instance, I learned a major lesson when my darling daughter, age 3, put her peanut butter sandwich in the VCR slot. It seemed she wanted to "watch" her lunch instead of "Little Mermaid". Trust me, VCR's do not eject Peanut Butter Sandwiches!

In the twelve years since that sticky incident, I've also learned the following gems of wisdom:

1. A new mom really can get by on 3 hours and seventeen minutes of sleep per night. You could use the bags under your eyes to pack for a cruise, but at least the sweet smell of poopy diapers can act as smelling salts to revive you.

2. If it's 2am and your toddler whines, "Mommy, my tummy hurts!", you have three seconds to react before his stomach contents wind up on your pillow case.

3. A two year old can stuff half a purple crayon up his nose in the time it takes to tie your 4-year-old's shoe.

4. Your proudly potty-trained 3-yr-old will always have to "go" after she's bundled into long underwear, pants, and a snow suit.

5. A mom can have a 102 degree fever, hacking cough, and horrible rash, but she still has to make supper, make a cover for a 6th grade Science book, and take a sliver out of an 8-year-old's finger.

6. If head lice is invading your son's class, he'll pick that day to borrow Josh's comb (even though he usually never combs his hair).

7. A teenager may call your jokes lame - but she usually repeats them to her friends.

8. Nothing feels better after a hard day at the office, dentist, or tax accountant, than a big hug and sticky "tootsie roll" kiss from your favorite kid.

9. The best presents are not made of gold or silver, but consist of uncooked macaroni noodles glued to a jar and sprayed with paint.

10. Being a Mom is the best job in the world, and it's truly worth the spider veins, extra pounds and extra wrinkles.
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Books Sold - 6 Nov 2011 to 31 May 2012

Some of you have asked me for my total number of books sold to evaluate KDP Select so here it is. Bear in mind, that results will vary based on genre and author. Good luck and remember, Keep Moving Forward.

Total - 120,836

1. Excuse Me, My Brains Have Stepped Out
Amazon Kindle - 42,559
Paperback -
Smashwords -

2. Frequent Traveller
Amazon Kindle - 35277
Paperback -
Smashwords -

3. Dora's Essentials - Books, Blogs & Smiles 1
Amazon Kindle - 462
Smashwords -

4. Mirror Me Martha (Short Story)
Amazon Kindle - 281
Smashwords -

5. Drive On Hope (Short Story)
Amazon Kindle - 190
Smashwords -

6. Blog-A-Licious Directory 2012
Amazon Kindle - 1
Smashwords -

7. Pandora's Reading Room 1
Amazon Kindle -
Paperback - N/A

8. The Cat That Barked (Short Story)
Amazon Kindle -

9. Dora's Essentials - Examining Anxiety
Amazon Kindle -

10. Dora's Essentials - Books, Blogs & Smiles 2
Amazon Kindle -

11. Elevenses from Around the World
Amazon Kindle -

12. Genetically Modified Foods vs. Sustainability
Amazon Kindle -

Blog-A-Licius - Sherbet Blossom

SherbetBlossom

Blog-A-Licious

Dealightfully Frugal

Blog-A-Licious - The Few, The Proud, The Wife

Blog-A-Licious

My Soul Slippers

Blog-A-Licous - Textbook Mommy

Blog-A-Licious - Blue Frogs Legs

Blog-A-Licious - Pretty All True

Pretty All True

Blog-A-Licious - tbaoo

tbaoo

Blog-A-Licious

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Blog-A-Licious - The Invisible Art

Blog-A-Licious - Rediscovering Domesticity

Rediscovering Domesticity

Blog-A-Licious - Quiver Full

Blog-A-Licious - Cori's Big Mouth

Blog-A-Licious - Great Fun

Greatfun4kids

Blog-A-Licious - Busy Wife

Blog-A-Licious - Steps To Happiness

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Blog-A-Licious - Toby & Max


Blog-A-Licious - Amelie

Raising Amelie

Blog-A-Licious - Peas In A Pod

Blog-A-Licious - Riley

Blognostics - Poetry

BlogNostics

My Awards - September 2010

My Awards - September 2010
Awarded By Jo Frances

My Awards - May 2011

My Awards - May 2011
Awarded By Alejandro Guzman

My Awards - May 2011

My Awards - May 2011
Awarded by Kriti Mukherjee

My Awards - April 2011

My Awards - April 2011
Awarded By Roy Durham

My Awards - June 2011

My Awards - June 2011
Awarded By Sulekha Rawat

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