Malaysia – The Wedding

By Rough Guy'd

10th July 2009 - Amazing what a good night’s rest (and a fair few meds) can do for you.  By the next day I was, while not completely better, able to function pretty well with most of the pressure gone and my stomach feeling a lot better.  As such I managed to meet most people and provide pleasant company at the pre-wedding dinner when most people gathered to meet the day before the wedding.


As we had had a family reunion a few years ago, I recognised and remembered most of the people there (direct relations such as first cousins) and many relations had come over to see the wedding from as far afield as Manchester and Taiwan and even from New Zealand.  My own parents were due to arrive as well but unsurprisingly, didn’t arrive until 3am the day of the wedding.

As I was recovering from my illness, a 3am wakeup call from my parents was the last thing that I needed on the day of the wedding and while I managed to sit and chat with them for a while and then join everyone for breakfast, I only managed to sit through the first part of lunch before I had to leave and rest.  As it turned out, I missed the entire tea ceremony.  I had sat though a tea ceremony before at a previous wedding so I knew a little of what I had missed.


The newly-married couple had to present a small cup of tea to all of their relatives that are older than them as a sign of respect and tradition and then in turn, receive a cup of tea from all of their relatives that are younger than them and as a token of appreciation, give a red packet to them.  While I am sketchy on the specifics or the reasoning, I do know that a lot of it revolves around tradition and respect for your elders and is also a way of showing how the two families are now bonded together as family is an important component of our culture.  All of which I missed out on this time as I was busy gathering my strength for later in the night.

The wedding dinner itself was an altogether different affair, at times a lot more formal than the lunch and at other times a lot less.  The attire for the dinner was a lot more formal and most people were more reserved but with none of the formalities associated with the tea ceremony and more random photo sessions.  It made me glad that I had some nicer clothes as well as the rough backpacker stuff that I was getting used to.


Also, it made me realise that my family is a lot bigger than I know as with over one hundred guests, I barely knew a quarter of them and yet I was related to almost all of them!  I learned later that the norm in Malaysia is that if both sides of the family live far apart, they just have two weddings with invitations to attend one or both as you see fit.