I love Asian food, but for a long time I was resistant to learning to use chopsticks. I had my reasons--and they were petty, possibly related to my divorce and my ex-husband's choices--and I dug my heels in and refused to even try.
Eventually I got over all that and decided that I could learn to eat with two sticks instead of a fork if I wanted to, so there. Besides, I thought it looked cool and it was a skill I wanted to have--it was a challenge. So, I learned. Yes, it was quite amusing at first, but I picked it up pretty quickly and now it's a requirement--the food just doesn’t taste right otherwise. And, as a side note, it makes for a more leisurely meal than shoveling with a fork.
When I was in Colorado over the holidays, my friend gave in and took me to a Chinese restaurant. I asked for chopsticks and made an offhand comment about liking to keep in practice. The owner, who was Chinese, said he too had to keep in practice--using a fork.
What? He had to practice that? Didn't everyone know how to use a fork? It's pretty simple, just wrap your fingers around the handle and start shoveling it in. Not anything compared to figuring out how to hold two sticks together and make them do what you wanted them to. But really, why would it be any different? My own little bubble world was just what was normal and natural for me. It didn't occur to me that there was another viewpoint of the same situation--that others had different experiences and didn't see things exactly as I did.
We know we should put ourselves in other's shoes, but how often do we really do it? How often do we really take the time to think about what others might have experienced that makes their lives and perspectives different than our own?
We can never see the exact view as another because we don't share the exact same experiences, however, the more we expand our viewpoint outside our own little bubble world, the clearer the big picture of life becomes--and the better we feel. We become less attached to our way being the "right" way or the "only" way, and begin to see it as simply a "different" way.
When you realize you don't see things the same as someone else, you certainly don't lose anything by saying, "Wow, I never thought of that" or "You make an interesting point." The person you're talking to feels validated and you've taken a big step toward seeing past the end of your nose. As a bonus, you don't get all worked up about having to convince the other person how wrong they are and how right you are--you're simply sharing information about your viewpoints.
So, the next time you're frustrated with someone who doesn't see things exactly as you do, step back, step out of your bubble world and take another look. You might be surprised what you can see and appreciate--and how great it feels to do so!
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Paula Renaye is life transformation coach, speaker and multi-award-winning author of fiction and nonfiction. For more inspirational and motivational stories, visit http://hardlineselfhelp.com.
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