by Paula Renaye
Last night, I watched Hoosiers, starring Gene Hackman, and besides being a great movie, it also zipped me back in time to my own days of playing basketball. Even though it’s set in the fifties, aside from the cars and poodle skirts, it’s about the same setting and mindset that I grew up in almost three decades later. And, like the kids in the movie, nothing was more important than basketball to me—even boys.
Basketball was so important, in fact, that after being seriously injured in a game, I took a knife and hacked off my full-length leg cast so I could play in the district championship match. My mother was furious. The coach wasn’t too happy either, but he wrapped my knee and let me play as much as I could. I wasn’t in top form, but I still remember scoring a fair number of points. I don’t remember whether we won or not, and it really didn’t matter—playing mattered.
As I look back on the teenage me, I don’t see that young girl as stupid even though that was the general consensus about it from my family, spouse and even myself for many years. What I see now is a girl doing what she needed to at the time—and it really had nothing at all to do with basketball. She was defining who she thought she was and wanted to be.
Still, as I watched the movie—and remembered my own experiences—I couldn’t help but wonder what I would have done in that situation. Could I have kept my head in the game the way those boys did or would I have bought into the “it’s impossible” thinking and defeated myself? The answer is I really don’t know.
We can never know for certain what we’ll do until we’re in the moment with a decision to make—and a messy mind to deal with. Will we find the courage to give everything we’ve got in spite of the odds? Or will we let our fears and faulty thinking pre-defeat us?
In more recent movie, What Happens in Vegas, Jack (Ashton Kutcher) messes up at work again and challenges his boss, who is also his dad, to a basketball game to decide if he’s going to be fired or not. When his dad gets ahead in the game and it’s down to the last point, Jack quits playing. Instead of finishing the game, he chooses to walk away. He still loses his job, but he keeps his dad from officially winning and proving him a “loser.”
Jack had a lot of beliefs to overcome and growing up to do. He could have used Coach Norm Dale’s inspirational talk to his team before the regional finals:
“…don’t get caught up thinking about winning or losing this game. If you put your efforts and concentration into playing to your potential, to be the best you can be, I don’t care what the scoreboard says at the end of the game, in my book we’re going to be winners.”
It’s true. And the name of the game is Life.
You are what you believe you are, so be very sure you know what that is. Pay attention to your thoughts and your words. And if you catch yourself—as I did—hearing or feeling things you don’t like, stop right where you are and clean them up. Make sure your beliefs about yourself and your life are really what you want.
Now, as far as my own adventures, I’m certainly not advocating that anyone do what I did as a kid with a cast. However, there are times when we have to make choices that are right for us in the moment, regardless of what others may think.
In The Princess Diaries, newly discovered royal Mia finds a letter from her late father, which includes a classic quote and more food for thought:
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.”
It may seem easier in the moment to walk away or “not do,” but every choice defines who you are. Be sure those choices live up to who you want to be.
Whatever your challenge, be brave and follow your heart. Embrace your purpose and passion. Step up into your highest potential and live it to the fullest--now!
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Paula Renaye’s new hands-on manual for transformation, Living the Life You Love: The No-Nonsense Guide to Total Transformation is receiving enthusiastic endorsements from the mental health community and is garnering international attention. Learn more about Paula and her work and read her blog at www.toughlovetalk.com.
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