by Paula Renaye
In my business, I hear many stories of how people are addressing their challenges and going for their dreams—or how they aren't. And oddly, sometimes they’re the same thing.
While it's not exactly like going shoe shopping to medicate your troubles away, latching on to one self-help book, program or free teleseminar after another can be just as unproductive if it's not for the right reason.
Now, that may seem at odds with my usual recommendation to get out and learn all you can. Well, the point of that is to learn so you can actually do something—not avoid it. You use self-help books and programs to learn how to make your life better—not give you something to keep you busy so you don't have to.
On the positive side, reading inspirational, motivational and personal development material can give you the little boost you need to feel better so you can keep going. On the not-so-positive side, it can take the edge off the pain enough so you can continue to tolerate what you know you need to change.
Moving from looking for solutions to actually making conscious choices that facilitate change can be scary—and you can’t do it until you’re ready. Just remember, staying confused lets you off the hook from having to do anything. Not knowing what to do keeps you from having to make a decision—or risk making a mistake. It keeps you safe—relatively speaking—and stuck.
So, are you really looking for solutions to help you make changes, or are you just creating distractions and diversions so you don’t have to?
In reality, it may be a bit of both. One way to shift things into full forward gear is to actually do something instead of just talking about it. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing—just something. Making a choice and taking a small action in one area can help bring clarity in many areas—it breaks the holding pattern. It also makes taking the next step less scary.
Whatever your situation, I guarantee there is something you can do right now toward what you really want that can start to shift things for you.
For example, if you want to start a business, research competition for your product or service. If you’re considering a divorce, find out what process is required by your state. If you want to move, get information from chambers of commerce. If you want to eat healthier, make one simple choice—such as, cut out sodas or bread—and do it.
It’s not complicated. We just tend to see things in an “all or nothing” kind of way. “I can’t do this until I do that, or until that happens.” Stop it! Do one thing. Then do another. Making a conscious choice and following through is huge—and hugely empowering.
Back to the example of starting your own business. You want to, but it seems totally overwhelming and you certainly don’t have the cash to even think about it. Well, forget about the money and get the dream built first. Start developing a business plan—and all that means. It costs nothing and is essential to moving forward when you do have funding—or to getting that funding. Once you start doing something, the dream becomes more real. It starts to feel as if you are already in business, and it opens the doors for seeing options you couldn’t when you were just wishing.
So, is 2013 the year you just make another resolution and hope something magically happens to make it come true, or is this the year you actually do something?
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Paula Renaye is a tough love media expert, certified professional coach, empowerment speaker and award-winning author. Her acclaimed self-help book, Living the Life You Love: The No-Nonsense Guide to Total Transformation, was named to Kirkus Reviews’ Best of 2012 and is endorsed by health and mental health professionals. To learn more about Paula Renaye and read more personal development articles, visit www.PaulaRenaye.com.
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