Just Enough

By Paula Renaye
Author of The Hardline Self Help Handbook

Shania Twain was on one of Oprah's last shows, talking about her book, From This Moment On. Growing up in poverty and with an abusive stepfather, Shania definitely had some surprising challenges to overcome that her iconic image did not betray.

One thing of the many things I found interesting was that even though she was quite wealthy, she was always careful to prepare only as much food as she thought they would eat—it was important that she only make "just enough." She and her siblings lived every day with being hungry, and parceling out the meager food they had was critical to their survival.

That way of thinking and behaving—literally a life or death belief strategy—stayed with her as an adult and controlled her. She didn't have to worry about starving—not by a long shot—but that subconscious programming was still calling the shots and she still behaved as though she did.

A few years ago, a very good friend of mine was in turmoil over money. She was working at a job that was physically and mentally difficult, and she was struggling financially. One day over lunch, she said to me—as she had many times—that she wasn't asking for much, all she wanted was "just enough" to pay her bills with a little left over. She was in pain and it was a plea—"please give me just enough so I can get by."

When I heard that, I finally said what she was ready to hear. I told her that if "just enough" was all she wanted then that was all she'd ever have—just enough to get by. Yes, she was taken aback and got a little angry—a lot of us do that when we hear truth and don't like it.

But I kept on, asking her why it would be bad to have more than just enough? Who would suffer because she had fewer worries about money? Who would suffer because she had the freedom to buy things that she wanted and would enjoy? Who had to have less so she could have more? Why did she only deserve "just enough"?

The answer, of course, comes from the same source that all our limiting beliefs generally do—the same place Shania's had. And the only way to get unhooked from an old subconscious belief is to own it—admit that you have it—and then reframe it. It can be helpful to understand how you came to have it, but it isn't essential. Just identifying the old belief, and why it creating limitations and lack in your life, makes it easy to consciously create a new belief that empowers you.

We talked for a while and my friend really got into the idea that it was okay to have more. She agreed that it didn't make her noble because she was struggling financially, and it didn't make her bad or greedy because she wanted to buy things for herself. She also realized that if she wanted to help others it would be a whole lot easier to do that if she weren't struggling herself.

When we finished our mini-coaching session, the words "just enough" were no longer in her vocabulary and she walked away feeling better than she had in months.

Within two weeks she had a new job, making double what she had been!

So often we are completely unaware of the limiting beliefs that are holding us back, keeping us stuck in a place we don't have to be—yes, ask me how I know. Limiting beliefs kept me stuck for more years—and in more ways—than I like to remember. In fact, that's why I wrote The Hardline Self Help Handbook—it's the book I needed that would have helped me see what I couldn't for myself.

So, if you find yourself in a situation that is not bringing you joy, remember, there is a way out. By discovering and rewiring the underlying limiting beliefs, you can free yourself from pain and change your whole world.

Start tracking down the old thinking that's keeping you stuck and starting living your joy!