Thursday, 17 November 2011

Who Would You Be If You Weren't Afraid?

By Paula Renaye

Who would you be if you weren't afraid?

Now, your first response to that question may be that you're not afraid and how dare I suggest that you are. Well, here's my response to that: we are all afraid of something--and sometimes a lot of somethings. And, most of the time we don't consciously recognize how much influence those fears have over our lives.

I knew a man through business associations who was fairly successful on the professional side of things, but like many of us not so great on the emotional maturity side. In fact, his fears and limiting beliefs ruled every moment of his life. He told me that he knew that from the moment he got up in the morning he was going to be tempted to do bad things and that he had to stay on alert at all times to watch out for them.

Now, as a coach and tough love author--not to mention to perpetual student of human behavior--I was absolutely fascinated by his words. On the one hand, I could say that I too stay consciously on alert; that I monitor my thoughts, words and actions so that I can identify things I need to change. But his approach wasn't on that same page. For him, there was nothing that needed to be changed; the world was simply a fearful place filled with all kinds of things that could lead him to the dark side. Consequently, he always found what he was looking for.

When I talked with him further about it, I realized how deeply his fears ran--and how important they were for him to keep. He wasn't interested getting to the root of the belief and changing it to something that empowered him, because his whole life--and "goodness"--required it. Without that belief mechanism in place, he was absolutely certain that he would do "bad" things. 

I gently asked if he might consider looking for good; that perhaps he could shift his belief to "I am always tempted to do good" or "good lurks behind every corner" or something similar. He thought about it for a moment and I saw the light bulb go on, but as he processed it through the rest of belief system he shut it back off. No, he couldn’t do that, he said. He had to stay focused and aware that there were bad things in the world so they wouldn't sneak up on him.

Now, this example may seem extreme, but we all do this same thing to one degree or another. And, it often sets up a paradoxical situation: The very belief we need to change to be happy is the one our subconscious mind believes we cannot live without. 

Who would you be without the limiting beliefs you argue most vehemently to keep?

Who would you be without your fears?

Find out!
* * * *

Paula Renaye is tough love motivational speaker, certified professional coach and author of the multi-award-winning self-empowerment guide, The Hardline Self Help Handbook, which is on sale for the holidays now at most retailers. Her Tweet-able Tough Love Quotes book is available free for a limited time. Visit for more information and tips.


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Books Sold - 6 Nov 2011 to 31 May 2012

Some of you have asked me for my total number of books sold to evaluate KDP Select so here it is. Bear in mind, that results will vary based on genre and author. Good luck and remember, Keep Moving Forward.

Total - 120,836

1. Excuse Me, My Brains Have Stepped Out
Amazon Kindle - 42,559
Paperback -
Smashwords -

2. Frequent Traveller
Amazon Kindle - 35277
Paperback -
Smashwords -

3. Dora's Essentials - Books, Blogs & Smiles 1
Amazon Kindle - 462
Smashwords -

4. Mirror Me Martha (Short Story)
Amazon Kindle - 281
Smashwords -

5. Drive On Hope (Short Story)
Amazon Kindle - 190
Smashwords -

6. Blog-A-Licious Directory 2012
Amazon Kindle - 1
Smashwords -

7. Pandora's Reading Room 1
Amazon Kindle -
Paperback - N/A

8. The Cat That Barked (Short Story)
Amazon Kindle -

9. Dora's Essentials - Examining Anxiety
Amazon Kindle -

10. Dora's Essentials - Books, Blogs & Smiles 2
Amazon Kindle -

11. Elevenses from Around the World
Amazon Kindle -

12. Genetically Modified Foods vs. Sustainability
Amazon Kindle -

Blog-A-Licius - Sherbet Blossom



Dealightfully Frugal

Blog-A-Licious - The Few, The Proud, The Wife


My Soul Slippers

Blog-A-Licous - Textbook Mommy

Blog-A-Licious - Blue Frogs Legs

Blog-A-Licious - Pretty All True

Pretty All True

Blog-A-Licious - tbaoo



Powered by

Blog-A-Licious - The Invisible Art

Blog-A-Licious - Rediscovering Domesticity

Rediscovering Domesticity

Blog-A-Licious - Quiver Full

Blog-A-Licious - Cori's Big Mouth

Blog-A-Licious - Great Fun


Blog-A-Licious - Busy Wife

Blog-A-Licious - Steps To Happiness

Powered by

Blog-A-Licious - Toby & Max

Blog-A-Licious - Amelie

Raising Amelie

Blog-A-Licious - Peas In A Pod

Blog-A-Licious - Riley

Blognostics - Poetry


My Awards - September 2010

My Awards - September 2010
Awarded By Jo Frances

My Awards - May 2011

My Awards - May 2011
Awarded By Alejandro Guzman

My Awards - May 2011

My Awards - May 2011
Awarded by Kriti Mukherjee

My Awards - April 2011

My Awards - April 2011
Awarded By Roy Durham

My Awards - June 2011

My Awards - June 2011
Awarded By Sulekha Rawat

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