Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Rocky Mountains High Lies

By Paula Renaye

I am writing today from the Colorado Rocky Mountains in the US. As those of you who know me personally are aware, I lived most of my adult life here and it is home. Coming back this time has been interesting in many ways. 

For one, the day after I arrived, so did the snow--a couple of feet of it. I was up in the mountains where I used to live and it brought back a lot of memories--good and bad. 

Not having to go anywhere or do anything, the snow is beautiful. The sapphire blue sky against the pine trees covered in snow is just stunning. When I lived here, I hated it--plain and simple. I was freezing constantly and felt trapped by the snow and the mountains. I was angry that what I wanted and needed didn't matter. I was isolated and lonely, and I very nearly lost my mind. 

I couldn't have what I wanted--do what I wanted to--because it didn't fit with what other people wanted. I was angry that I was living someone else's dream--and that what I wanted didn't matter. 

Ultimately, I was angry with myself, although I couldn't admit it at the time. I wasn't strong enough to speak my truth because I knew it wouldn't matter. Well, actually, it would have mattered--a lot--and my whole life would have fallen apart immediately, meaning divorce. So, instead, I pretended things were okay and yet was angry and casting blame because I knew they were not. All I did was delay the inevitable. And in the meantime, I made myself--and everyone else--miserable. 

If you've read The Hardline Self Help Handbook, you know the stories of my struggle out of the situations that my choices--and limited thinking--had created for me. If you've done the work laid out in the book, you also know you don't have to do what I did.

If you're saying things are okay, but you're angry or just feel "off" all the time, you know there's something you need to deal with. Start paying attention to your thoughts, your words and your actions.

I know, I've said it before, but it really is the very best place to start. If you're thinking one thing, saying another and then doing something else, you are indeed "off." There may be minor differences--at least seemingly--between the three, not to mention that you're probably also "talking out of both sides of your mouth."

For example, when I lived here in the mountains, my thoughts would fester with all the reasons I hated it and how it wasn't what I wanted. Then I would focus on its beauty and opportunities and run the "how could you not love it?" script. I'd complain about the cold then argue with anyone who suggested it wasn't the perfect place to live. I'd rant and rave about having to shovel snow then brag about being out in a T-shirt in the sun at 10 degrees doing it.

Now, if I could be so conflicted about such minor things, imagine how convoluted things were on the relationship side of things! And, of course, that's really what it was all about. It wasn't about the place I was living; it was the why. Always the why!

If you aren't happy, now is the time to figure out why--and do something about it.
Wishing you all the most amazing and insightful year of personal growth ever!

I haven't been to my old house this time and probably won't go. I went near it, but not to it. I don't need to this time. It's funny how that house was such a defining factor for me, my ex-husband and our kids--it affected all our lives in one way or another. 

I felt for so long that I'd left a piece of myself there, buried with the beloved pets at "Gingerbread Hill" as the kids called it. I know for sure I lost a lot of myself there. I also know it's where I started finding "me" again.
Paula Renaye is tough love motivational speaker, certified professional coach and author of the multi-award-winning self-empowerment guide, The Hardline Self Help Handbook, which is on sale for the holidays now at most retailers. Her Tweet-able Tough Love Quotes book is available free for a limited time. Visit for more information and tips. 



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Books Sold - 6 Nov 2011 to 31 May 2012

Some of you have asked me for my total number of books sold to evaluate KDP Select so here it is. Bear in mind, that results will vary based on genre and author. Good luck and remember, Keep Moving Forward.

Total - 120,836

1. Excuse Me, My Brains Have Stepped Out
Amazon Kindle - 42,559
Paperback -
Smashwords -

2. Frequent Traveller
Amazon Kindle - 35277
Paperback -
Smashwords -

3. Dora's Essentials - Books, Blogs & Smiles 1
Amazon Kindle - 462
Smashwords -

4. Mirror Me Martha (Short Story)
Amazon Kindle - 281
Smashwords -

5. Drive On Hope (Short Story)
Amazon Kindle - 190
Smashwords -

6. Blog-A-Licious Directory 2012
Amazon Kindle - 1
Smashwords -

7. Pandora's Reading Room 1
Amazon Kindle -
Paperback - N/A

8. The Cat That Barked (Short Story)
Amazon Kindle -

9. Dora's Essentials - Examining Anxiety
Amazon Kindle -

10. Dora's Essentials - Books, Blogs & Smiles 2
Amazon Kindle -

11. Elevenses from Around the World
Amazon Kindle -

12. Genetically Modified Foods vs. Sustainability
Amazon Kindle -

Blog-A-Licius - Sherbet Blossom



Dealightfully Frugal

Blog-A-Licious - The Few, The Proud, The Wife


My Soul Slippers

Blog-A-Licous - Textbook Mommy

Blog-A-Licious - Blue Frogs Legs

Blog-A-Licious - Pretty All True

Pretty All True

Blog-A-Licious - tbaoo



Powered by

Blog-A-Licious - The Invisible Art

Blog-A-Licious - Rediscovering Domesticity

Rediscovering Domesticity

Blog-A-Licious - Quiver Full

Blog-A-Licious - Cori's Big Mouth

Blog-A-Licious - Great Fun


Blog-A-Licious - Busy Wife

Blog-A-Licious - Steps To Happiness

Powered by

Blog-A-Licious - Toby & Max

Blog-A-Licious - Amelie

Raising Amelie

Blog-A-Licious - Peas In A Pod

Blog-A-Licious - Riley

Blognostics - Poetry


My Awards - September 2010

My Awards - September 2010
Awarded By Jo Frances

My Awards - May 2011

My Awards - May 2011
Awarded By Alejandro Guzman

My Awards - May 2011

My Awards - May 2011
Awarded by Kriti Mukherjee

My Awards - April 2011

My Awards - April 2011
Awarded By Roy Durham

My Awards - June 2011

My Awards - June 2011
Awarded By Sulekha Rawat

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