Are You Authentic?

By Paula Renaye
Author of The Hardline Self Help Handbook

A few days ago, Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts were on Oprah, promoting their new movie, Larry Crowne, which looks fun and will probably be inspiring too.

Anyway, Oprah was talking about how she and her staff can tell when celebrities are "real"—being their authentic selves rather than who they think they have to be.

It's a great question to ask yourself. Are you being real? Are you being your authentic self?

The truth is, we know when we are and when we're not. We all slip on a mask from time to time. There's the job interview mask, the go-see-the-parents mask, the first-date mask, etc. But what if we chose not to put those on? Well, maybe a better question is: Why do we?

There really is only one answer: it's because we don't think being our real authentic selves is good enough for the situation.

Yep. You can put whatever twist on it you want to for each scenario you can think of, but that's really it.

Let's go with the job interview and first date, which are really kind of the same. We hold back who we really are so we can try to figure out what the other person wants then adapt ourselves to it. That way, at least temporarily, we get what we think we want—a second date or a job.

When the "real you" comes out—and it will, about six months in to a relationship or sooner—things will go awry. So save yourself the grief and just be you from the beginning! If they don't like you, great! You've saved yourself a lot of trouble. And, you can find someone who really does like, and is compatible with, who you really are.

You'll be amazed at the insights you'll get if you'll just start asking yourself why you do what you do. In fact, that's what compelled me to write The Hardline Self Help Handbook. Helping people isn't about telling them what to do—yes, I have to remind myself of that frequently!—it's about asking the right questions.

So, when you feel yourself slipping on a mask, stop and ask yourself: Why can't I just be me?

That's right, you can!