Sometimes We Must Wait

By Penny J

After 15 long months of separation, facing a particularly nasty custody battle and a soon to be ex-husband who was bent on 'making me pay' for wanting out of a bad marriage, our court date finally arrived. For months I had walked down my little country road, sometimes twice a day, and while I walked, I prayed. I prayed that God would bring us through this terrible time and that He would work it all out for the best for all of us.

During the hearing, my ex-husband testified that he had 'used' my oldest son, then 15, to spy for him, to take pictures when the house was messy and with three children, 15, 13 and 11, it was messy at times. He also testified that he 'interrogated' them on a regular basis and that he felt justified in doing so.

Ironically during those long months, I felt closer to God than I ever had before. I knew He was with me, walking by me on those long walks while I cried and talked to Him. Funny, during such a turbulent time, there was still such a peace. For whatever reason and even after hearing my ex-husband testify how he had used the kids, the judge stated that although neither parent was unfit, he had decided that my husband should have primary custody of the children.

I later found out that my oldest son was instrumental in letting the judge know this was the way he wanted it. It was the worst time of my life. I left the courthouse by myself and a friend met me and took me with him that afternoon so I would not be alone. I was devastated. I just knew God had forsaken me. I cried out to Him, "Why? If You're still here with me, I need to know. I need You to show me."

My friend had some errands to run and he just let me cry. There were no words to say. He went into a wood shop to see about some cabinets for a project he was working on. I sat in the car like feeling so alone and so sorry for myself when a man knocked at my window. The last thing I wanted to do was talk to anyone, much less a stranger.

The man told me he had overheard my friend asking about cabinets and wanted to let him know that he built cabinets. At the time I didn't stop to wonder why he didn't just walk back into the shop and talk to him for himself. He just handed me his business card and asked me to give it to him. I said I would.

I didn't even look at the card for awhile. When I did, to my amazement and wonder, I realized that God had just shown me He was still right there. The business card read "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."