Monday 19 December 2011

Birthday Cake Rematch

By Rev. Raymond Nolan

Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, the half-century mark is a time of celebration, even if we don't really feel like celebrating.

While serving as a pastor in a small Maine church, my congregation saw fit to take time to celebrate my fifty years of life with a surprise party following Sunday service.

Although I'm the type of person who doesn't like surprises or bringing attention to myself, I do admit it was a very enjoyable party and it was nice to see my friends and family together at the same time.

After the singing of the traditional "Happy Birthday" song, it was time for me to extinguish the fifty blazing candles in one breath. This would have been an easy task except for the fact that when I bent over the cake to blow out the candles, I had forgotten I was wearing a necktie and almost set my tie on fire.

I jerked my head back avoiding the potential mishap, but in doing so I only blew out half the candles. On the second try I put my necktie over my shoulder and finished the task. It was a funny scene that brought a great deal of laughter to family and friend alike, but I always felt a little depressed that I never blew out all the candles at once.

I recently turned sixty and when my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday I said, "Methyl, I don't want a party, friends, or presents. All I want is a birthday cake with sixty candles. I've been waiting ten years for a rematch with that birthday cake and this time I'm going to do what I couldn't do ten years ago."

Methyl thought the request was a bit strange, but she did indeed give me a cake with sixty candles on my birthday.

As my wife lit the candles, one-by-one, I knew that this birthday would be different. With this rematch I felt like a formerly beaten boxer who was given a chance of redemption after a previous humiliating defeat. Victory would soon be mine at last.

However, when the time for redemption came, victory was not mine to embrace. With one hard blow that would have easily extinguished one hundred candles, I was only able to blow out fifty-seven.

Sadly, in the length of time that it took for my wife to light all sixty candles, three of them burned out. Ten years earlier I was defeated by a necktie. On this rematch it was time that was the culprit that denied me the righting of a previous wrong ten years earlier.

Once again God had the last laugh... and I have a very humorous story to share for yet another ten years.

However, I do want one more rematch. If God allows me to live another ten years to my seventieth birthday, I do intend to blow out all seventy candles on my birthday cake. Next time, however, we are going to buy longer candles. 

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Books Sold - 6 Nov 2011 to 31 May 2012

Some of you have asked me for my total number of books sold to evaluate KDP Select so here it is. Bear in mind, that results will vary based on genre and author. Good luck and remember, Keep Moving Forward.

Total - 120,836

1. Excuse Me, My Brains Have Stepped Out
Amazon Kindle - 42,559
Paperback -
Smashwords -

2. Frequent Traveller
Amazon Kindle - 35277
Paperback -
Smashwords -

3. Dora's Essentials - Books, Blogs & Smiles 1
Amazon Kindle - 462
Smashwords -

4. Mirror Me Martha (Short Story)
Amazon Kindle - 281
Smashwords -

5. Drive On Hope (Short Story)
Amazon Kindle - 190
Smashwords -

6. Blog-A-Licious Directory 2012
Amazon Kindle - 1
Smashwords -

7. Pandora's Reading Room 1
Amazon Kindle -
Paperback - N/A

8. The Cat That Barked (Short Story)
Amazon Kindle -

9. Dora's Essentials - Examining Anxiety
Amazon Kindle -

10. Dora's Essentials - Books, Blogs & Smiles 2
Amazon Kindle -

11. Elevenses from Around the World
Amazon Kindle -

12. Genetically Modified Foods vs. Sustainability
Amazon Kindle -

Blog-A-Licius - Sherbet Blossom

SherbetBlossom

Blog-A-Licious

Dealightfully Frugal

Blog-A-Licious - The Few, The Proud, The Wife

Blog-A-Licious

My Soul Slippers

Blog-A-Licous - Textbook Mommy

Blog-A-Licious - Blue Frogs Legs

Blog-A-Licious - Pretty All True

Pretty All True

Blog-A-Licious - tbaoo

tbaoo

Blog-A-Licious

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Blog-A-Licious - The Invisible Art

Blog-A-Licious - Rediscovering Domesticity

Rediscovering Domesticity

Blog-A-Licious - Quiver Full

Blog-A-Licious - Cori's Big Mouth

Blog-A-Licious - Great Fun

Greatfun4kids

Blog-A-Licious - Busy Wife

Blog-A-Licious - Steps To Happiness

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Blog-A-Licious - Toby & Max


Blog-A-Licious - Amelie

Raising Amelie

Blog-A-Licious - Peas In A Pod

Blog-A-Licious - Riley

Blognostics - Poetry

BlogNostics

My Awards - September 2010

My Awards - September 2010
Awarded By Jo Frances

My Awards - May 2011

My Awards - May 2011
Awarded By Alejandro Guzman

My Awards - May 2011

My Awards - May 2011
Awarded by Kriti Mukherjee

My Awards - April 2011

My Awards - April 2011
Awarded By Roy Durham

My Awards - June 2011

My Awards - June 2011
Awarded By Sulekha Rawat

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