Gossip Queen

This is another exciting chapter from Excuse Me, My Brains Have Stepped Out

We've all gossiped at one point or another. Whether its about that cute girl you saw your friend's husband with or that gorgeous newly refurbished neighbour's house, we've all done it. But, and this is a very big B-U-T, there are some people who can wear a throne for how they do it. Meet, gossip queen. You'll see her at every festival, every funeral, every church event and if possible every other weekend in someone else's house. She'll know the daily routines of people around you right up to those who live in Timbaktu. When you bump into her at the grocer's, she'll ask you how you are and then tell you news about yourself that even you didn't know about.

Yes, this is the person who doesn't need Facebook, Twitter and Stumble Upon. She's a whole social network all by herself. What is her goal you ask? Well, she'll tell you it's concern. That she's looking out for your best interest. Right, so does every other politician. See, it is one thing to pass on information that is accurate, true and objective (oh wait, that is what journalism is supposed to be), but it's a completely different thing to pass on inaccuracies and assumptions. This is the person who even when she is fully aware that she has offered an inaccuracy, will not in anyway offer a retraction or apology. She'll simply shrug her shoulders and move on to the next juicy bit of gossip.

This is not the person who asks how are you and waits for an answer, she asks it so she can ask you her next question which would probably be something like, "so you've got a new job, how much are you getting paid?" She'll want to know what you've cooked for lunch and what you'll be preparing for dinner while at the same time telling you that one of your neighbour's will be celebrating their child's birthday next week at the restaurant down the road. This is also the person who'll take a step into your house question your decision about that lovely earth toned rug you have because it looks ugly / expensive / cheap and go on to tell you about the rug in yet another friend's house.

She'll marry off people who don't even know each other and transfer the local councilman. The polite words she offers to you are just a means of getting those biting rumours she'll soon be passing on. Sound familiar? Ah yes, take a slow, deep breath, There's one or more of this person everywhere you go, there's no hiding but there is avoiding. When you avoid, be prepared to have even wilder stories passed around about you but think about it, real friends wouldn't care and the ones who do aren't real friends. And if you ever came across the opportunity to share in gossip, think of this - When you ASSUME, you make an ASS out of U and ME. What do you think?

To read other thoughts, memories and lessons from Excuse Me, My Brains Have Stepped out please click here.