Heavenly Giggles

"Dear God, please take care of my daddy and my mommy and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me. Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we're gonna be in a big mess."

A grandfather overheard his granddaughter repeating the alphabet in reverent, hushed tones. "What are you doing?" he asked. "I'm praying, Grandpa," she said. "I can't think of the right words, so I just say all the letters. God will put them together for me, 'cause he knows what I'm thinking."

A priest was taking a tour of biblical sites, when he came to a beach and saw a boat and a sign advertising, "Take A Boat Ride To The Exact Place Where Jesus Walked On Water" Inquiring about it, he learned that the ride there was free, so he went. After viewing it, he said to the captain of the boat, "Ok, I'm done, let's go back now." "That'll be $35 to go back." The priest, shocked by the charge, exclaims "Dang, no wonder Jesus got out and walked!!!"