It’s A Snake

By Paula Renaye

Many of you probably know the story about the man and the snake based on Aesop's Fable, The Famer and the Viper. The story has been told many ways, but in general a man sees a snake freezing in the snow and takes pity on him. He puts the snake under his coat to warm him up. The snake revives and bites the man. The man is shocked that his kindness has been repaid in this way, but the snake simply shrugs and says, "You knew I was a snake when you picked me up."

Once when a copperhead made its home beside my back porch, I proceeded to "help" it find a new place to live. I was real clear on why. Mostly it was helping me—I didn't want it to bite me or my children—but also I knew if it stayed there someone would kill it. So, I got a shovel and, with the help of my oldest daughter, wrangled the snake into a trash can and hauled if off into the woods to find a new and safer home. I considered it a win-win for all concerned. Not once was I confused about what I was dealing with, nor did I expect gratitude for my "help."

However, dealing with human snakes isn't quite so easy.

I found myself in a situation with a woman a couple of years ago that I did not know how to handle. I figured out her nature pretty quickly—I knew she was a snake—but she was also an influential snake that had the power to negatively affect my career, which she eventually—and joyfully—did.

I let myself get lured in because I feared the consequences of not being friendly with her and did things I felt I had to rather than really wanted to. No matter how “nice” I was, always—and I do mean always—in one way or another it came back to bite me. I kept playing the game with her, thinking that this time things would be different, this time she wouldn't act like a snake, this time she would appreciate how nice I was being and would be grateful and kind in return—this time she would do the right thing. Well, she did the right thing all right—from her point of view—and it had dramatic consequences for me.

I bet you've known a human snake or two in your life and have probably been surprised when your good intentions didn't get the results you expected. But if you think about it, who was really at fault? Was it the snake for being a snake? Or, was it you for not being clear about your motivations for playing with the snake? Were you expecting your "goodness" to transform a snake into a grateful puppy who would then give you what you were looking for?

If you choose to befriend or rescue snakes, know why you're doing it. If it's really for the good of the snake, you can be helpful without putting yourself at risk. However—and here's where the problem comes in—if your goal is really to get gratitude and praise from the poor lesser soul you've rescued or helped, there's probably a pretty hefty bite in your future.

If you're intent on helping—and frankly, how often do snakes really want help—then do so quietly and safely and be on your way quickly so the snake can get back to doing snake things, which it will. Do not expect otherwise.

As with anything, things will go a lot better for everyone if you know why you are considering doing a particular thing. Get clear on your motivations, and it will be much easier to make wise decisions that are truly helpful to others, and also respectful to yourself.


Paula Renaye is a certified professional coach, life empowerment speaker and award-winning author of the newly released Hardline Self Help Handbook. Visit http://hardlineselfhelp.com for details and more self improvement tips.