Movie Messages - Self Help For Self Worth

By Paula Renaye

I realize I’m late to the game on commenting on the movie Eat Pray Love, but I just watched it this past week—twice. The story is about a woman who married young, realized her mistake at her wedding, but plowed on anyway. She eventually divorced and fell into a rebound relationship of infatuation. I’ve lived my version of that same story. And, as Julia Roberts said so authentically in the director’s cut, it ended with “the complete and merciless devaluation of self.”

For me, my rebound relationship was like a bad Hollywood sequel. I took my same faulty script, added a new setting and cast, and somehow expected that this time it would have a good and happy ending. It didn’t, of course. My bad old movie became a horribly bad new one, and it very nearly destroyed me. The few shreds of self worth I’d hung on to after my divorce were left on the cutting room floor right along with my hopes and dreams. Almost overnight, I became someone I didn’t know—and didn’t like.

In retrospect, the energy, emotion, angst, time and importance I gave to the situation seems incredibly ridiculous. But at the time, my world hinged on the outcome of those gut-wrenching experiences. Hanging on to the relationship really did feel like a matter of life and death. I wasn’t yet willing to do what Liz did in the movie—I couldn’t walk away from what I thought I would die without.

But, to paraphrase Richard Bach in Illusions, even as I argued for my limitations, I knew I couldn’t hold up to that level emotional pain indefinitely. Something had to give. One day, when I found myself knocked to my knees, I began to look for different ways back up—ways that didn’t involve him.

I went to work on my outer physical world by rebuilding my financial house and then buying myself a home. I immediately launched myself into a major renovation, which occupied both my mind and my hands and rebuilt my self-confidence and self-respect. When I took control of and responsibility for making my physical world what I wanted, my inner world transformed as well. Eventually, I was no longer willing to accept the unacceptable. And “just like that,” it was done. I was free.

I haven’t yet made it to Italy, India or Javier Bardem, but I sure like the movie I’m living today. I am happy! And you can be too! Simply start by loving and respecting yourself and taking responsibility for the way things are in your life right now. If you want something different, get busy doing something different!

You can live your joy!

Paula Renaye is a certified professional coach, life empowerment speaker and award-winning author of the newly released Hardline Self Help Handbook. Visit http://hardlineselfhelp.com for details and more self improvement tips.